In the 2022 NFL Draft, the Seattle Seahawks selected Charles Cross and Abe Lucas to be their starting Offensive Tackles. This is considered the most difficult spot on the offensive line, but the two green shoots flourished. They played better than some veterans, and coming into this 2023 NFL Season, it was presumed that they would be even better. Well today (Sunday) both Charles Cross and Abe Lucas left the field with injuries. The offensive line could not hold up, and Seattle lost to the St. Louis LA Rams, 30-13.
This was supposed to be an easy win for Seattle. I typically balk at the idea of a Week 1 matchup being predictable, but even I bought into the idea that the Rams were outmatched. After all, the have 14 rookies on the roster, at least five of which were starting with the best receiving option on IR and their best Defensive Back traded away. It should have been an easy win for Seattle… but it wasn’t… And that sucks…
Some Weird Psychological Effect I Don’t Understand
I have worked hard to divorce my sports fandom from my emotional wellbeing. At the time of this writing, I am happy, but when I think about the game today, I get a little bummed. It’s just a game. Why does it have that effect? There’s studies on this effect, but I’m too lazy to go find them right now, and that’s not what I want to dig into with this newsletter anyways. I bring this up because it affects my output, and I hate that.
I love football. I don’t yell at the screen and complain about calls. I watch the orchestration of formations and play sequencing. I love watching DB’s bait the passer into bad decisions; RB’s slow their steps as the blocking develops only to ignite the jets and burst through the gap; and the insane comebacks made possible by an illogical scoring system of 6’s, 3’s, 2’s, and 1’s.
So, when the football season starts, a lot of my brain power and attention on Sunday’s is gone. I’d love to write, but it’s hard to focus in and do so until the evening (like right now). This may not sound terrible to most of you reading this, but for creatives, you might see where I am going.
When Your Self-Worth is Tied to Success
There is a weird component to creating where you often feel like your worth is tied to what you produce. This is particularly true in Western cultures (particularly the United States) where there is an emphasis on efficiency and productivity in all aspects of the market. Rest is a weakness. Enjoying things is a luxury. You are required to slave over your keyboard, your guitar, your canvas, your whatever 24/7 to show you really want to be successful. Then, once you’re starving and the lights are being shut off and your friends are debating whether or not you can stay with them because they love you but you haven’t shown a lot of stable discipline, only then are you allowed to be successful. And we will all mock your friends for not welcoming you with open arms, because you were an artistic genius the entire time and they didn’t believe in you.
Basically there is this pressure to be an unstable artist in the form of someone constantly producing new works every single day, and if you don’t do it that way, then you feel like you’re not worthy of any success. It’s not the case with every creative, but for a lot of them, they have experienced that at one point or another, if not constantly battle it like I do.
On the song DOUBT, from the album, HELLMODE, Jeff Rosenstock sings…
When the day stops short
And the sun goes down on you
And you didn't get done
Anything you wanted to
It'd be one thing if it's once or twice
But it's every night your entire life
The redundancy of your P.O.V
Infinite serotonin starving fever dream
Rosenstock has been making music for over 20 years now. He tends to release an album every year (one of his own, followed by one with a side project). On top of that, he tours incessantly and also makes music for Cartoon Network’s Craig of the Creek. If anyone should be able to hang their hat on productivity and efficiency, it’s him, and yet he is running into the same struggle of feeling like he didn’t get enough done in a day.
So, What Does This Have to do with Football?
Football being back is a joy for me. I appreciate it, and it adds something fun to my weekends where I often don’t have plans on Sunday beyond attending church. It slows me down from writing, but I think I’ve come to the place where that’s okay… actually, it’s good. To go from writing, to working, to exercising (or more writing), and then sleep is not a sustainable strategy every day of the week. It’s just not. Humans need rest, relaxation, and recreation. As Gregory Benford put it…
Remember that people break down, too, not just machinery.
So, yeah, there are times where I’m not writing, and while I’d love to say that writing is what I do for fun (and in some ways it is) there is a huge element of work to it. I don’t know if I realized this at the beginning of this writing, but as I reach the end here I now see that I need sports and coffee and music and weird stories like Wojtek the Bear to eat up my attention. I’m not really made to work 24/7… in fact no one is.
So I’ll let myself be distracted by the NFL, even if it means I’m a little less productive on Sunday’s. It’s just fun to watch and think about football… Actually I just remembered the Seahawks lost and that bums me out, so I’m going to shelve that distraction for a week.
Perfectly Fine Update
I have submitted my final edits for my story in The Perfectly Fine Neighborhood. You can expect the anthology out from French Press in October of this year. You can find more about it here.
I hopefully should have some announcements surrounding Good Boy next month as well, but no guarantees.
Media Recommendations for You to Ignore
Music: HELLMODE by Jeff Rosenstock - I mean, did you think it would be anything else? Rosenstock has once again created an album that encapsulates the existential dread of living, but this time he shares his growth and contentment. Songs like 3 SUMMERS and HEALMODE exhibit a version of Jeff who is more independent and finds value in the unique, although perhaps not extreme, moments such as rain in California. Meanwhile, tracks like HEAD and THE FUTURE IS DUMB acknowledge the socio-political comment while confessing a desire to just not think about it because life is hard enough without worrying about fascism and climate change. Rosenstock ultimately concedes, however, that not thinking about it may feel good but it doesn’t solve anything.
The final track builds to the refrain “Stay young until you die.” I’ve been thinking about that a lot. It’s not a wish to die before getting old. It’s a conscious decision to never relinquish a youthful exuberance in living. I turned 30 this year. My hair has begun thinning. And yet I don’t feel the slightest bit old.
I beg of you, listen to this album.